Entries for July, 2005

Onward, I say!

I need some kind of machine that would triple the length of an hour without making it seem so. A sort of clock-stopper, yeah. There are too many things to read! Aaaagh!

But I like it this way.

My friend asked me how I was doing and if I was happy with med school. I said yes without thinking. I like what I'm doing. I'm happy with it -- and that's what makes it worth my time and EFFORT and energy.

(EFFORT. EFFORT. I've had this tendency to enunciate the word every time I say it. I wonder why. Not.)


The world's getting smaller and smaller! I've met people who are friends of friends or classmates of friends from high school -- everyone's connected to someone else I know! It's amusing.


...


I miss having more time playing the guitar, though. I miss Sam! And with this gig coming up with those people, I need to practice real hard. (shivers in shoes) I am intimidated, yes I am.


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Finally finally! I have control of my appetite again! A week of gorging is not funny at all. Gained weight over the weekend. OVER THE WEEKEND! Proof: The hook at the back of my skirt gave out last Monday.

Heh.

2 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 06:10 AM

...

The Philippines is going down the drain.

2 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 07:41 AM

It's getting to me.

I think it's safe for me to say that I've done enough to keep my mind busy these past weeks. There has never been a day that I did not open my books to read or review. It is fulfilling, but only to a point. I miss my leisure time. I miss watching CSI on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I miss seat-warming in coffee shops in the presence of very good friends. I miss going to gigs and watching guitarists' hands dance on the fretboard.

Sigh.

__________

Me at the library, returning an overdue book:

"Mmm, wala po ba akong discount -- kasi binalutan ko yung libro?"

"Ay oo nga ano. Hindi na kita papabayarin. Charge na yun sa plastic and labor."


You should have seen the delight -- yes, delight -- on the librarian's face. It didn't matter that I returned the book four days late.

And that's how I saved twenty pesos today.


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I like seeing him around. I actually look for him in class. After seeing where he is, I'm good. It just sort of became a habit.

I don't even know his name. Hah.

1 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 02:15 AM

Bits and pieces

I don't want to be irate that way again. Not anymore. I've got a clean slate. I'm praying I'll keep it that way.

...

I fell asleep on the dentist's chair while she was drilling holes in my molars.

...

Something's happening that shouldn't happen. Intellect: biggest turn on. But big no-no. I'm being incoherent again. What's new? And why oh why does calling me Jilly actually make me absurdly happy this time?

Grrr.

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Mishka Adams will be performing at the UST Recital Hall on Friday! Am gonna go!

...

I love my subsection-mates. We've bonded over beer already. Haha! After those three nerve-wracking days, we decided we all needed the temporary numbness that alcohol brings. And they're going to the gig next, next week. I'm touched!

4 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 01:46 PM

In want

I would be really really happy if I had a DSL connection and a digicam (and a computer with programs that actually work). It would make studying and coordinating with groupmates a whole lot easier.

Argh.

And when you're making a report, you don't just copy and paste! Or you don't just delete some parts of something that you copied and pasted so you could say that you didn't plagiarize! The least you could have done was actually read what you researched and make something using your own words. Less work for you means more for me.

It's my fault. I told them I'd be the one to compile everything. This is the down side to being obsessive-compulsive.

2 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 06:27 PM

I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive*

How would you like to be on television?

It wasn't a question for me of course, but a good friend was approached. I'm sure anyone would be flattered. She's considering the possibility. Why not? Who wouldn't? I heard of (someone) being paid P10,000 just to be a muse -- standing for three hours just waving and smiling. Imagine being paid P50,000 just to sing ONE SONG -- and you don't even sing all that well -- and the people can't get enough of you.

It seems a bit unfair. Let's just leave it at that. I just hope that those who've been given more give something back.


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I want more Peter Gabriel mp3s.


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As we study more and more regions of the human body I can't help but be amazed. God made everything so perfectly. From the littlest tendons to the small seemingly inconspicuous muscles... although it's been quite a task to put everything into memory.


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I got to go to the newly-opened SM San Lazaro last Tuesday! It is so near UST. It's a five-minute jeep ride away. Yey. Very smart, putting that mall there. Imagine all those students with all that money just waiting to be spent. Heh.

A classmate and I watched If Only. It's a major chick flick. Hehe. We got us some Gonuts donuts (2 each! Yum! But ughhh.) I love that vanilla donut. Mmm-mmm.


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My creative streak's been missing for the past couple of months. I miss it. I miss just plain FEELING.




*from Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes

4 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 03:28 AM

Awww.

"Dr. Jill can you cure my heart problems? I think it is suffering from missing you all."

- from a college classmate who's now with the US Airforce


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So yeah, the picture's big!



Friday
Those are two empty ice cream bowls in the middle of the table. The ones with the green stuff in them. It was free green tea ice cream, courtesy of our server. Hehehe.

I got to exchange messages with someone from not so long ago. I was touched because he was really asking about what I was doing now. He asked about school and told me he wanted to be a patient of mine. Hah.

(For someone else entirely) The little things DO MATTER. YOU should learn that.

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Saturday
So there we were again. I just wonder where it'll all lead to. And you, yes you, don't be so nice. Grr.

2 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 05:32 PM

There we go!

Those big smiles belie the fact that all of us are near our wits' ends!


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What?!

If I had it in me I'd say this to you:

I can't. I won't. I don't want to!

What were you thinking when you sent that to me? Were you actually expecting an answer to your favor?

...

Think, boy. Think.

2 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 01:33 PM

Momentary bliss

It's been a while since I last felt that complete. I can't explain it -- nothing else existed except the music, the instrument and the way it made me feel.

I missed it. I missed everything about it. I missed singing my lungs out. I missed being with artists whom you could engage in those kinds of conversations. I missed that place. I'd forgotten how comfortable I am there.

(I seriously want to hang out.)

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I saw an exceptional picture of Sam, my guitar, at the Theo Gallery. I was surprised and very very very very proud. It's funny! I felt like a stage mother. Haha. What's great about it is the artist/photographer told me he'd give the picture to me once the exhibit ended. Yay!

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I wish I had more time. More time. Please. I hate having to slack off in one subject just to catch up with another. Grrrrrr.

1 tweaked.

unbeknownst | 02:45 AM