Entries for October, 2005
October 5, 2005
Magnetized
That sums it up quite well.
What's weird is I don't know what to think of it.
And in no connection whatsoever --
Top: Outside Saguijo with my classmates. Awww, they watched a gig.
Bottom: At Baang Coffee with the girls
I don't know how to crop. Heh.
5 tweaked.
unbeknownst | 03:35 AM
October 11, 2005
I can't seem to let things be.
Don't ask me that because I wouldn't know. You read me well enough to realize that I do everything in my power to analyze things, to complicate them and then simplify them to the point where the irrational things are rational and the inconclusives are facts.
So no, don't ask me that.
I have a disease called overanalysis. It started with nausea and headaches. As it progressed I experienced sharp chest pains and breathlessness. I felt it eating away my insides. It has kept me up until the wee hours of the morning. I've suffered from hallucinations and a hyperactive imagination. According to MineOwnMedicine, it is incurable.
...
I'm mildly afraid.
Again.
Sock it to me.
unbeknownst | 01:56 AM
October 28, 2005
That's too sour for a morning
There has always been a rift between my mom's parents and my dad. It has become irreversibly huge when my parents separated. Whenever the topic of my father would come up, I'd always choose not to say anything. It's not like I know everything that happens to him, anyway. Last night my mom and I met up with him, my uncle and aunt because my aunt was here from the States. She had her very cute two month old son with her. We just had dinner and then we went home.
This morning my grandfather asked me what we did last night. That was unusual. He rarely asks me that. I knew something was up. I told him we just had dinner. Then he said he thought my dad was in the States. I asked him why he'd be there. He told me he was supposed to be looking for work and then, "Bilib talaga ako sa tatay mo." I told him to let the person be. After a few minutes I left the room.
I know they're sorely disappointed with my dad, but the fact still remains that he is still my father. I wish they'd remember that when they'd talk to me about him. I still have respect for him and there was a time when he played a significant role in my life. They keep on saying that they've put all issues aside but it's so obvious that they haven't. Can't they just let him live his life the way he wants to live it? It's not like he would affect any of us anymore. My parents have been separated for about four years now. Every time we meet up with my dad they get all riled up. They can't seem to understand that there is such a thing as just meeting up and being civil. They always think my parents are on their way to a reconciliation. They aren't. Sheesh.
I just want them to leave me out of it. If they have issues, they should talk to my dad directly. But they can't seem to do that so I wish they'd just stop. Just that. Just stop.
1 tweaked.
unbeknownst | 09:52 AM
October 28, 2005
I wouldn't mind talking to a shrink.
Was tagged by Fae too long ago.
Twenty random things about myself:
1. I grind my teeth when I sleep.
2. (I love, love, love vocal harmony.) I was a big Boyz II Men fan from sixth grade to second year high school. I bought their Cooley High Harmony, II, Remix Collection, and Christmas albums then decided I didn’t like them anymore.
3. I don’t give compliments when they’re being fished from me.
4. I like my coffee black with a nice yummy pastry.
5. I like looking at people’s hands. There’s a certain type that looks manyak to me. Heh.
6. I prefer to study alone, where it’s quiet and with minimal distractions. I can’t study in coffee shops.
7. I have a loose jaw joint. I have to move it back in place every morning.
8. I had a favorite music teacher who taught me so much about loving music (I was under her tutelage for about four years) – then when I went back to my school and saw her again I was disappointed that she didn’t remember me.
9. My room is always in a state of organized chaos. Sometimes I sleep with books, papers and stuff at the foot of my bed. But I like everything else in my life nice and organized.
10. In connection to number 5, I love watching guitarists’ hands while they play. I just stare although my staring doesn’t mean studying their technique.
11. I remember almost drowning in the Philam clubhouse swimming pool when I was six because my uncle and dad were playing catch with me.
12. I don’t play sports but I liked my PE classes. I loved it when we had soccer for PE. (I had classmates who screamed like sissies every time they kicked the ball... uhh duh.)
13. My first memory of me singing in front of strangers was when I was six, at someone’s birthday party at Jollibee. The party lady asked who knew Somewhere Out There and my mom pushed me toward her. (I had been singing that song beside our piano all the time prior to that day.)
14. I love Spanish sardines and a sunny-side up egg (that I mash and mix with my rice) and coffee for breakfast.
15. Back in third year high school, a friend and I would be glued to our TV sets at ten pm. We followed a Japanese series (dubbed, of course) religiously. I cried at the series ender.
16. My birthdays are always uneventful. Out of my twenty-two years, only two of my birthdays are memorable.
17. My first singing group was composed of me, when I was a first grader and two other older busmates. Our favorite song was “Pipit” (May pumukol sa pipit sa sanga ng isang kahoyyyyy…). We didn’t know what alto or soprano meant at that time but I remember that we had terms for pitches like flute for soft and high and trombone for low.
18. I am prone to melodrama.
19. Never ever tap me on my shoulder or on my arm or on my knee. I absolutely hate it. Insistent tapping is not cute.
20. I wanted to be a ball girl or water girl or watchamacallit for the Orlando Magic when I was in sixth grade. (Is there such a thing?) I was a huge Anfernee Hardaway fan in 1996.
I tag:
Lyn
Opts
Badgoodgirl
Nikwi
Martin
I need to move. Move! I took the break part of sembreak to heart.
Sock it to me.
unbeknownst | 06:22 PM
